Thursday, 26 July 2012

WHO ARE YOU?

There have been many times in my life when I felt LOST.

The most recent occasion was a few months after the birth of my daughter (she was born in May 2009).  I was over joyed with the birth of my sweet little girl, and I was slowly getting the hang of taking care of a newborn. In other words we (my little family and I) had found our rhythm, or routine and was making our way in the world.

Where I felt lost was with who "I AM". It was so clear to who I was before Stella arrived. I was a passionate yogini, spreading the wisdom of yoga to others in a local yoga studio. I was strong and playful. I was compassionate and loving. I WAS ME!

Stella & I the day after she was born
So after a few weeks of sadness and confusion, I started to think of ways I could re-invent myself. So I cut my hair, SHORT! A month later I dyed it brown, which I hated and cried every time I looked in the mirror for a few weeks, till I called and got highlights put back in. I kept doing my yoga, slowly but I felt weak and I couldn't relate to the body I had now, after giving birth. Again, I was lost.
Short haircut, no pic of brown hair, b/c I hated it so much!
I was searching everywhere for the answer.

I wish I could say that I found myself months later, however that's not the truth. The truth is that it took me a year. Yeah, a YEAR! But along the journey I remembered who I am in the most profound way.

It had nothing to do with the way I looked, or the way I taught yoga. It had nothing to do with how much money I had or what I wore. It had nothing to do with my success or failures. It had everything to do with how I received and gave LOVE.

For me it was more about the receiving of love, as I am much better at giving than receiving. I realised this by coming back to journaling. Now, I didn't have a lot of time on my hands but I committed myself to writing 3 things I was grateful for EVERY DAY!

I got to see within every day how many moments of bliss I experienced and felt gratitude for. I got to see how good life is. I got to see how much LOVE I received a day.
I AM LOVE!

What are 3 things your grateful for today?

xo Lauren

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